The Modern American Woman

Betty Draper, Don's wife, from "Mad Men"

Today, the 21^st century American woman can go to college, earn a substantial paycheck, and keep her last name in marriage. She can vote. Society no longer dictates that a woman needs an escort to accompany her in public. She has accessible access to the pill and other forms of birth control. Indeed, women have made many leaps and bounds since the beginning of America. From the women’s suffragist movement in the early 20^th century that fought for the right to vote to the Second Women’s movement in the 1970’s, women have made huge leaps and bounds.

And yet, at the same time, society still harbors many expectations of its women. Women continue to be viewed as homemakers and mothers. While a woman may work eighty hours a week as a lawyer, society expects her to make it home for dinner with her husband and two kids. She will still shepherd her kids to soccer games on the weekends and attend every single violin recital. While it has become more common for a man to cook and help out with housework, women have remained unable to shake off their role as house maker.

While a woman may keep her last name, her kids will often take the last name of their father. My aunt lives in Marin County with her three daughters and husband. She works in Silicon Valley managing technology corporations while her husband stays home. She kept her last name when she married, but her three girls all took their father’s name. Despite her extensive workload, she manages to take her daughters on college trips, attend dance shows, and to stay on top of her daughter’s lives. She makes working at a top-level job and being a mom seem easy, but I know that it takes its toll on her. When a man is the primary breadwinner in the family, society doesn’t expect him to simultaneously maintain a “mom” role as well. He’s not expected to do all of the laundry and pick Billy up from school in the afternoons.

Julia with her daughter and husband on "Parenthood"

Television offers many ripe examples of women figures. On NBC’s new drama Parenthood, an early thirty-something mom named Julia works as a lawyer in a law firm. She works long hours while her husband stays home with their five year-old daughter. Many of Julia’s storylines revolve around her fear that her daughter doesn’t really know her. Julia is made to feel guilty that her work cuts into her spending time with her daughter.

Kristina from "Parenthood"

On the same show, Monica Potter plays Julia’s sister-in-law, Kristina. Kristina is a stay-at-home mom with a working husband, a teenager daughter, and a nine year-old son with Autism. In the most recent episode, entitled “ Perchance to Dream”, that aired on April 27, 2010, Kristina is invited to Sacramento for a weekend to help an old friend campaign for a political position. Before she had kids, Kristina used to work in politics. During the weekend, Kristina feels re-invigorated and remembers how much she values being needed. She does excellent work, and earns a job offer. But, when she tells her husband, although he is supportive, she ultimately decides that now is not the right time for her to go back to work. Kristina reasons that her kids will only be kids once and that she can always postpone work until they graduate high school. When Kristina’s nine-year old graduates, eleven years will have passed. If Kristina continually puts her children’s needs above her own, she may never return to work. She should not have to choose between being an employee and being a mother.

I think that Kristina serves as an example of how few leaps women have made in their everyday lives. While many, many women do work, those that do face a double standard. They are expected to superstars at work and at home. If a child is not doing well, the mother is expected to give up her job instead of her husband. In my Edith Wharton class, we are currently reading The House of Mirth. The women from New York society in 1905 could not vote, were viewed as inferior as men, could not be alone with men who they were not betrothed to, didn’t go to school, and faced many other discriminations. The modern American woman has improved immensely from a woman in one of Edith Wharton’s novels, but she has not gained an equal status to a man. Women continue to be expected to fulfill their “feminine duties” as mothers and masters of the house. They may work and travel alone, but at the end of the day, they are not granted the same freedoms that men possess.